How Do You Love Difficult People Like Jesus Did?

Let’s face it—people can be difficult. Whether it’s their words, actions, or attitudes, we’ve all experienced moments where someone makes life harder. In those moments, the idea of revenge or “getting even” might feel satisfying. But would it truly take the hurt away?

Jesus offers us a better way. In Matthew 5:43-48 (NIV), He says:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

This is the answer: love your enemies.

But here’s the question we all wrestle with: How can I love someone who treats me so poorly?

The truth is, we often don’t know the full story. People’s lives are shaped by experiences, struggles, and pain we may never see. We only witness a small part of who they are—what they choose to reveal—and the same is true for us.

Here’s the thing: we don’t know the battles they’ve faced or what Jesus has forgiven them for. But we do know what Jesus has forgiven us for.

That’s where love starts—with humility and gratitude for the grace we’ve received. God didn’t wait for us to “deserve” His love. He poured out grace upon grace, offering forgiveness and the gift of life through Jesus. And here’s the key: that same grace is extended to everyone, even the person who’s causing you grief.

When you remember what God has done for you, it changes your perspective. You’re reminded of how far He’s brought you, and you can trust that He’s still working in and through the difficult person in front of you.

The Bible gives us many reasons to love our enemies. We’re called to leave revenge to God, to reflect His holiness, and to be a light in a dark world. But living this out is only possible when we’re rooted in grace.

People often carry unseen burdens—deep hurts, guilt, shame, trauma, and brokenness—that influence their behavior. When you choose to see others through the lens of grace, you open the door for compassion and understanding.

So, how do you love difficult people like Jesus did? Start where He started—with grace.